


A Dangerous Hope

by FreyjasFury



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drabble, Hogwarts Sixth Year, M/M, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:42:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27629732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyjasFury/pseuds/FreyjasFury
Summary: Draco is trying to come to terms with his life during his sixth year at Hogwarts. Then, Harry Potter has to involve himself much to Draco's annoyance.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Kudos: 43





	A Dangerous Hope

**Author's Note:**

> After years of reading Drarry, this is my first time publishing!  
> Disclaimer: Characters are property of JK Rowling et al. I only wrote this for a little fun and to try my hand at writing.  
> This work is un-beta'ed so any mistakes are my own.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Draco has been going through the motions of life, pretending everything is okay when he has been silently drowning. Silently screaming, calling out for help but no one sees him. No one sees the terrified young boy, only the Ice Prince of Slytherin.

So, he pretends. Walks with his head held high, mask in place, the flawless Malfoy aristocrat. Smothering the panic, the fear…the guilt. 

Pretending everything in his life is simply perfect is exhausting. His mind is a constant maze, and he is running through the maze hedges for miles and miles looking for the solution. Looking for the exit, an escape but only finding more dead ends. 

The Slytherins do not see anything different with him which of course he prefers from them. He cannot let them know how he is truly feeling, it will be reported to his parents, to the Death Eaters. To Him. Therefore, Draco keeps his distance. They were getting annoying anyway, trying to interfere, trying to ‘help’ him with the task they have no idea about only that he has been given one from the Dark Lord himself. Their over eagerness, their excitement to be a part of it all sickens him. They have no idea, no clue what it means to be on the dark side of the war. Flashes of tortured faces, screaming and pleading for help and mercy would attack his mind at random intervals creating an overwhelming feeling of panic and guilt so violent Draco has to leave the current room he is in. Escape, run, flee…but you can never hide from your own mind.

Feelings of numbness and detachment has taken over his heart as a matter of survival like a callus. Becoming emotionless made it all somewhat easier, just fade his consciousness into the background. He would trade his damn soul to just free himself from all emotion. But then, Harry Potter came into the picture. 

Of all people, the Chosen One began to pay attention to him. Watch him, listen to him, follow him. At first Draco was extremely irritated at Potter for stalking him, obviously realising he is up to something and it was getting harder and harder to shake him off so he could keep working on his task. But the attentiveness, the knowing that someone is trying to really see him, albeit in a negative way, ignited a small flame in his chest. He began to desire the interest the other boy had in him. All he wanted, was someone to notice him. 

From there, Draco began to chase the attention of Harry Potter. 

It started out heated. Hate, anger, and frustration enveloped them as they taunted and mocked one another. Draco relished in it, the way his blood would boil at just the sight of the speckled git. He savoured the way his chest would burn as the taunts became more and more severe. He would seek out Potter any chance he could, just to feel something other than the heart stopping fear. 

But one day, Potter started to see through it and his fucking hero complex had to get involved and ruin it all. Potter began to ask questions, started showing concern that just frustrated Draco to no end. Draco would try and avoid him then, but Potter always managed to find him. He would ask what he was up to, ask about his family, ask what he knew, if he was involved with Voldemort. Draco would spit fire at the other boy and try to get him to leave him alone before the panic overcame his senses. But the asshole would never back down, so Draco would flee. 

One afternoon of a particularly bad day of trying to fix the damn Vanishing Cabinet, Potter found Draco having a break down in Moaning Myrtle’s abandoned bathroom.  
Potter, without the pity that Draco expected, showed hesitant compassion that grew disgustingly into patience, and kindness. 

Draco hated him for it. How dare Potter treat him like one of his little friends. Their relationship was supposed to be unique; they are each other’s arch nemesis since they were eleven! Despite this, Potter continued showing this particular attention.

Their relationship suddenly became a whole new unique. Potter began to place secret soft touches on his arm, his eyes showing a type of care Draco has not seen him do to anyone else, and he would know with how much he studies the other boy. 

Draco felt special again. Felt like a person again, all because of stupid Potter. Slowly, Draco began to reciprocate Potter’s touches then Potter said something to him that changed everything. 

“I want to change the world for the better and I think I can, with you.”

Draco stared at the other boy’s vibrant emerald green eyes that were practically shining with sincereness. Draco felt his breath catch and as they looked at one another, Potter reached for him. Draco fled. 

That was two days ago, and Draco has been avoiding him. He has not forgotten he has a job to do despite the lovely bubble Potter creates that blocks out the harsh reality that they are living in. A task the Dark Lord gave him at the end of summer. To find an entrance into Hogwarts for the Death Eaters and to kill the most powerful wizard in Europe, possibly the world. He has nearly successfully fixed the Vanishing Cabinet to his own horror but still has no idea about the second part of his task. Soon, Death Eaters will enter a school full of children creating all sorts of havoc that Draco’s imagination can only run wild with, especially since his maniac Aunt will be among them and Draco has to hold back a particularly violent wave of nausea at the thought. 

Thinking of the war makes him think of Harry Potter. Of Potter trying to help him and how this boy has wedged himself inside Draco’s heart, taking the very breath from him. Somehow becoming the light to Draco’s dark. The bastard. 

Draco runs to Myrtles bathroom again once he notices Katie Bell has returned from the hospital wing. The panic grips his chest, constricting his lungs until he can’t breathe. Sweat drips down his neck and back and Draco is shaking.

He nearly killed her. An innocent. A child. He nearly killed her just because a mad man tasked him to murder the Headmaster of the school. He used her as a tool. 

Running, he shoves and pushes against students heading to the Great Hall for lunch. He could hear the blood rushing through his ears and his vision becomes blurry with unshed tears. 

Finally, he makes it to the abandoned bathroom. He leans against the cool porcelain of the bathroom sink but tears his school jumped from his back, trying to cool down further. His skin, his body, is burning. 

He looks at himself in the mirror trying to breathe. Bloodshot eyes meet his, his hair is all in disarray, his skin grey and clammy. He doesn’t even recognise his reflection in the mirror. He is a shell of himself, a stranger. Someone he fears. Someone, that does not deserve the Chosen One’s gaze. He hates himself, hates what he has become. Red becomes his vision and he screams at his reflection. He can’t hear the sound over the roar of the blood still rushing in his ears. He stares at the silent figure of himself, mouth agape, tears streaming down his face. He throws his fist back and punches the mirror, twice, three, five times until it is completely shattered. The pieces tinkling lightly as they fall to the stone floor. 

He breathes hard, looking down at the remnants of the mirror, his broken reflection looking back at him. His knuckles sting and he looks down at his now mangled hand, blood pouring from the wound, a deep red. Nothing special about it. Nothing unique. Just blood. Red, thick, and hot. Just like everyone else’s. 

“Draco?”

Draco whips around and sees the figure of Harry Potter in the doorway, staring at him in shock. 

“Get out of here Potter,” Draco manages to croak out. 

“Draco, no, let me help you-”

“GET OUT POTTER!” Draco screams. Harry stops talking, eyes wide, still staring. His impossibly green eyes boring into Draco, stripping him bare. 

Draco collapses to the ground, sobbing, hiding his face in his hands. 

He doesn’t hear Harry approach. But he feels gentle hands and arms wrap around his back. Draco leans against the warm body and allows the wracking sobs to surface. They shake his body violently. 

He was raised to think he was unique. As unique as a snowflake falling in the winter snow. And now, after everything, he has decided he would rather be just an old regular function cog, one of a million of the same, in an everyday machine, with a real purpose. Serving something way beyond him for the better. 

Draco always had someone telling him what to do, who to be and become with his future already planned for him. But now, after spending time with Potter, after experience what this uniqueness truly means, he has found himself questioning everything. 

Who is he really? And the question Draco has been fearing the most is now at the front of his mind. 

What do I do?

He doesn’t want to be a part of the army against Harry. He doesn’t want to be a murderer. He doesn’t want to be a part of a world so twisted, born from the reflection of a mad man. He doesn’t want a part in any of it. 

Harry squeezes his shoulders and coaxes him out of the maze of his mind. “Draco, what happened?” he asks gently. 

“I can’t do this Harry, I can’t be who they want, I can’t do it! I’m too weak, I’m a failure, they’re going to kill her, they are going to kill me!”

“NO!” Harry practically shouts, making Draco jump a near mile at the sudden outburst. “No, Draco, they are not going to kill you, I will help you, Dumbledore will help you. I will keep you safe, I swear to you…” Harry says gently cupping Draco’s face. 

Draco meets his gaze, unable to help believing in the sincerity of his burning green eyes. He found himself believing the boy, only a boy, before him. He believed that Harry could save him. And for the first time, Draco believed Harry Potter could save them all. 

“Okay,” Draco whispers. 

Harry takes his wounded hand and mutters a healing spell. His healing spells are awful and the skin knits together slowly and painfully, but Draco hardly notices. Harry’s warm body is pressed still so close to his own, he can smell his cheap Muggle shampoo and cologne with a mixture of sweat and the familiar scent of the broom shed. It is comforting.  
Harry speaks again, telling him they will go to Dumbledore, get him away from the Dark Lord and somewhere safe. He is rambling, and Draco knew majority of it was utterly impossible. 

He can’t imagine that the Light side will just take him in so willingly. He is a Death Eater. 

Harry is still talking quickly but stops when Draco unbuttons his shirt sleeve then pulls it up revealing the Dark Mark.

Harry is silent staring at it and Draco watches him, hating himself all that much more when he sees doubt begin to cloud the eyes of Harry Potter.

After a while, Harry looks up to him, his eyes burning again, the doubt cleared from them. “I know this isn’t you Draco,” he says quietly, pulling Draco’s sleeve down. 

“You don’t believe that” Draco snaps, “the evidence is right here, I’m a Death Eater Harry. I am a marked follower of that lunatic. Get out while you still can Potter, get far, far away from me.”

“No,” Harry said defiantly. Draco sighs and shakes his head then knocks it back on the tiled wall behind him with a thud. 

“You don’t know what you’re saying, you don’t even know me,” Draco says. 

“I know you don’t want this, that you had no choice that you don’t want to do this, that’s enough for me. To start at least,” Harry adds somewhat sheepishly. 

Draco looks at him incredulous. “Stop being a naïve Gryffindor Potter, this is a war-”

“A war we don’t want to be a part of but are regardless. We are both soldiers now even when we don’t want to. Be on our side, on my side. I will protect you.”

Draco scoffs even though his heart begged to believe and hope for it. To be a somebody to this incredibly brave and stupid Gryffindor. 

Harry brushes his fingertips over the newly healed skin of Draco’s knuckles. “Be with me Draco,” he whispers. 

Draco squeezes his eyes shut releasing a shaky breath. “You don’t even know what you’re asking Harry.”

“I do,” Harry breathes, leaning closer to Draco who opens his eyes slowly. 

“You know Potter, once we do this there is no going back” Draco says, looking down to Harry’s lips. 

“I rather regret doing it than regret doing nothing and never truly knowing,” Harry replies, voice hoarse.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Draco whispers inching closer. 

Harry closes the gap between them, his lips soft against Draco’s. Draco’s heart practically explodes in his chest at the contact. Shakily, he runs his fingers through the unruliness of Harrys hair and Harry moans quietly as Draco gently tugs at the strands.

Draco opens his mouth and Harry’s tongue gently brushes his own and Draco couldn’t help but let out a small whimper. Harry was clutching at Draco’s shirt collar drawing him impossibly closer. 

“Merlin Draco, I wanted this for so long,” Harry murmurs as he mouths along Draco’s jaw. 

Draco let out a breath and nudged until Harry’s mouth was back on his. The kiss was searing hot, both boys moaning and warm breath mingling as they breathed roughly.  
Draco felt himself sinking, unknowing where his body began and ended. Harry was so close, surrounding him murmuring promises and encouragements. Draco had to be dreaming, this moment cannot be real. 

He pushes Harry away with a little force and a look of hurt crosses the other boys face. 

“Steady now, love,” Draco says shakily, and Harry gives him a small smile which Draco tries to return. 

Draco has no clue what they are doing. They are obviously delusional to think this could work but for the first time in a long time, Draco felt the spark of a dangerous hope.


End file.
